Today's topic is mostly for me to let off steam. It's about the plethora of stupid crazy people that inhabit the right and the left in this country and their enablers: the stupid apathetic people in the center.

First off, lets look at the two stereotyped denizens of the American left: the bleeding heart liberal and the dirty hippy. The first one whines about social injustice, the evils of the white male, and universal health care. She is typically from busy urban centers, listens to NPR, and eats babies. Her close cousin, the dirty hippy, is easily spotted by his ancient tye dye clothing, ageing flip flops, and rants concerning the rights of the Trees (not to be confused with the noble Lorax). Typical habitats include folk music concerts and place where people have genuine reason to tear down trees, as opposed to wanton destruction of all things arboreal.

Second, let's see the other half of the coin- the crazy Right. The first of the two selected specimens is the redneck. He is typically found anywhere in the United States more than one hundred miles from a major urban center. He is identified by his ranting about the Constitution, a document he knows nothing about, and by his inherent racism. He is the natural enemy of the bleeding heart liberal. The other specimen is by far the most dangerous thus encountered: he is the notorious Republican Vampire. Coming solely from the upper crust of white society, this truly evil being seeks to run rivers dry, start slavery again, and own Fox News.

Now that I've gotten my facetiousness out, it's time to talk about the real evil in this situation: the apathetic center. Unfortunately for her, America has become so incredibly commercialized that her people no longer truly care about political matters. They would much rather watch the latest episode of Lost than learn the stance of their elected officials. Hell, I bet that most Americans couldn't name their elected officials, there probably only aware that this Presidents Black, the previous one was dumb, the one before him was involved in a sex scandal, and some other ones are on money.

This has to end.

Here's how you can help: inform your friends. FORCE them to read.

Or Santa won't come next year.